This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
