does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Houston, we have a squirter
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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