just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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