Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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