As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
