I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize