I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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