Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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