what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
