There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
high people should be assigned attendants
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
