I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
