i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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