Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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