Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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