I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
