I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I deserve this hangover.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
