He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
