Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
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in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
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i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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