We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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