Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
