it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
