well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
