I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
