Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
So squirting runs in the family.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize