It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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