Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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