i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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