# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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