This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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