This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
