i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
