woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize