why didn't you poke me back
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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