We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
