i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
