How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Randomize
