we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
