I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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