How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
