If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
