Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
