I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
