so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
