walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
