And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
