if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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