Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
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Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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