i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
