so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
