can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
