She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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