You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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