Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
