last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
