so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
