We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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