I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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