y did u give ur computer a hand job?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
