Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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