i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
