saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
