Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Operation Purity has been aborted
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize