I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
