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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.

  (1-781): View more from Massachusetts

  didn't that happen to you last weekend?

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  shut up.

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• (518): View more from New York

  Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  ... drunk me broke the coffee table?

  (616): View more from Michigan

  STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.

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• (367): View more from

  He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.

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• (646): View more from New York

  he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.

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