I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
